Archive for September, 2009

What this book is about
Don’t let the name fool you: The Kazdin Method for Parenting the Defiant Child: With No Pills, No Therapy, No Contest of Wills is a good system of healthy motivation, using appropriate and relevant praise, that gives any child a reason to want to learn new habits and behaviors. Even starting with this method, with or without the rewards chart, at a young age will create a happy child (and parent) that know how to get things done.

Why this method is different
The beginning of this book chronicles conversations Kazdin has had with parents who have come to him for help with their children. He addresses most reservations that parents have with regards to his methods so they can get on-board with his method. Sure, you’ve done star charts, attempts at positive speaking, dangling tangible rewards in front of your child to motivate them but they still won’t cooperate or listen to you.

This method comes out of a scientific approach to how humans are motivated and uses relevant, appropriate praise, touching, etc. to encourage your child to want to comply without feeling manipulated or bribed.

Potential uses
You can use this to affect behavior and specific or general habits:

• Bedtime routines
• Morning routines
• Cleaning up
• Getting along with siblings
• Taking care of pets
• Setting the table for dinner
• Staying in bed after lights-out
• etc.

My experience
I was at the end of my rope with my youngest, who is very strong willed. I had tried as many positive things as I could think of and the only things that motivated her was fear or the promise of getting something that I didn’t want to give her (i.e. candy). Talk about a no-win situation. This book really helped move past our contest of wills and contributed to her being more considerate, thoughtful, helpful, and wanting to contribute. She even started doing things we didn’t even ask her to do. What a joy!

Praising reservations addressed
I remember listening to Kim John Payne at a school event some years back. He mentioned how inappropriate praise can cause the opposite affect and how inappropriate praise is used to develop post traumatic stress syndrome in military personnel during basic training (causing post traumatic stress syndrome is the only way to get someone to kill another human being, so I’m told).

The Kazdin Method uses APPROPRIATE praise that is specific to what your child is doing in the moment and offered as soon as they start the desired behavior. To counter the possible affects of my daughter seeking approval outside of herself (one of my concerns around praising her a lot, but better then fear methods) I point her back to herself to look inside for her own internal sense of self and approval when she comes looking to me for validation. You know what I mean: follow your guidance and you’ll always do the right things with your children.

Alternatives
Imagine the alternatives that a lot of parents resort to: threatening, instilling fear, making the child feel unsafe, punishing. None of these are desired nor do they ultimately work. They all backfire in the end.

Read the book and watch the DVD for yourself
Don’t take my word for it or follow my sketchy explanations of the method as I’ve mentioned them here. I tried to explain it to my husband and we watched the included DVD together but he is still reading the book to really understand it and be able to use it.

Conclusions
The Kazdin Method will help you regain your role as parent as well as allowing you to have more fun with your children. What a stress reliever. My daughter and I are now enjoying each other so much more.

View book details at Amazon.com: The Kazdin Method for Parenting the Defiant Child: With No Pills, No Therapy, No Contest of Wills

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This 2009 event has passed. There are more opportunities to see Michael Beckwith.

Rev. Dr. Michael Bernard Beckwith was in Philadelphia on Friday, September 18, 2009 for an evening of speaking about Spiritual Liberation and Transformation so "we may consciously accelerate our soul’s evolution and skillfully work with both the individual and global challenges we face today. This event was uplifting, inspirational and informative.

Who is Michael Beckwith?
To highlight just a few of his accomplishments, Rev. Dr. Michael Bernard Beckwith is a spiritual leader and visionary, the founder of the Agape International Spiritual Center in Los Angeles (with over 13,000 members), has written several transformational books, was an expert on The Law of Attraction in The Secret and appeared several times on Oprah. His teachings have changed many lives. His teachings have been described as New Thought / Ancient Wisdom.

View Michael Beckwith’s latest book at Amazon: Spiritual Liberation: Fulfilling Your Soul’s Potential

This 2009 event has passed. View other opportunities to see Michael Beckwith

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What’s good about this book
The authors buy the items themselves so they are motivated to tell the truth and not side with any one manufacture over another.

What I didn’t like about this book
I don’t like the way they put down the book, What to Eat When Your Expecting; you should make your own decision on that one. The model offered in What to Eat When Your Expecting is an ideal and if we aim for an ideal then we will be doing better than we would otherwise. Especially good sections to read Products that are a waste of money.

What I didn’t like/would change/wouldn’t recommend about this book
I don’t like the way they put down the book, What to Eat When You’re Expecting; you should make your own decision on that one. (One of their reasons for not getting it is because it’s a sequel. Well, Baby Bargains is a sequel too.) The eating model offered in that book is an ideal and if we aim for an ideal then we will be doing better than we would have otherwise. (Sugar is NOT a food group and the authors of What to Eat When You’re Expecting know that.)

Especially good sections to read
Products that are a waste of money. (Seems contradictory, doesn’t it?)

What to skip
Sections on items that don’t apply to you or your child’s needs.

When to get this book
With enough time to read before the baby comes since you’ll want to do your shopping well ahead of time.

Final Comments
As always you should take things to heart and see how they feel to you and your gut when making decisions.

View book details at Amazon.com: Baby Bargains, 8th Edition: Secrets to Saving 20% to 50% on Baby Furniture, Gear, Clothes, Toys, Maternity Wear and Much, Much More!

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Deva Premal and Miten on tour in concert with Manose
Concerts are currently scheduled in Philadelphia, Washington, DC and Boulder Colorado for their tour with Manose.

Who are Deva Premal, Miten and Manose?
If you’ve ever chanted, know the value of chanting or go to chants regularly, you might have heard of Deva Premal and Miten. They are world-renowned for their chanting events. Ecstatic states of Being can be achieved and when you’re talking about 600 people chanting together, well, it’s quite blissful. Deva Premal leads the chanting with the assistance of Miten and Manose, who both play accompanying instruments and chant. It’s one of the loveliest experiences I’ve had.

CDs
You’ll want to have some Deva Premal and Miten CDs at home to keep your heart open.

View upcoming events: Deva Premal and Miten in concert with Manose

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